All finished!

I typically end the year with a "Year in Review" post, and re-post links to the most popular blog posts of 2012 by month, but this year, not so much...I shamefully only wrote 19 posts all year. I am going down a blog shame spiral.

But in my defense, I did spend most of the year raising a small human, teaching her to do basically everything and helping to set the blueprint for all her future relationships. It's no small task, raising a small one! So most of my highlights of 2012 were not professional, but personal. Seeing Baby B cross mid-line and visually track an object for the first time, her first signs (shockingly, not "more" or "milk," or "all finished," but the very useful "gorilla" and "hat"--for all those times you want to say, "Hey mama! Look at that gorilla wearing a hat!" but you are pre-verbal and have to use sign), her first "real words," first steps, and first text-to-self connection (not text like I'm texting you, but like text as in literature-text connections. Yes, I count My First Shapes and Colors as literature). So many wonderful "firsts" came from Toddler B. Yes, she is no longer my Baby B. The official transition from baby to toddler was marked by the time she melted flat as a pancake in puddle of tears in the middle of the sidewalk because she wanted to walk in the street and I wouldn't let her. Mean mommy.

Professionally, I grew as a school psychologist, not by any workshop or event at my job, but because I now have some first hand experience with how nuanced parenting is. There are "easy" suggestions from others that you apply to your own kid and they just don't work without a lot of tweaking to the situation. For example..."Just let them cry it out!" Riiiiiiight. Well what do you do when they cry so hard they throw up? Hmmm? What about when they fall asleep standing up, cheek pressed on the edge of their crib? Nuance. Very important. I have become a better listener to what parents have tried already and under what circumstances they experience success.

Finally, I know that 2012 is also a year marked by the tragedy in Newtown.  I know that America's attention span is like that of a gnat, but I hope that people don't lose momentum on pushing for sensible reforms to make our kids and educators more safe.

So with that, I say goodbye to 2012--the good and the bad. Or as my daughter would say (as she did the second she sat on Santa's lap via sign language) ALL FINISHED! I wish everyone a wonderful new year...and as always, thanks for reading.

I Can’t Stop Thinking About It.

I wrote this the day after the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I couldn’t finish it until today…

I first reacted to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting as a mom of a 15 month old little girl. Though she is not old enough to go to school yet, I still pictured her, 6 years old, with pigtails, wearing a pink dress and tights, excitedly carrying a backpack with a gorilla on it--her favorite animal.  I transposed myself as one of those parents, frantically looking for my daughter after hearing the news. I imagined the horror of waiting and waiting, only to find out my baby was murdered. I’ve been trying to stop my mind from going to that dark and unfathomable place, but I can’t. And I just hug my baby girl so tightly. She looks up at me with such innocence, happily doing the sign language sign for “gorilla!” in an effort to get me to read her favorite book, and I am saddened again at how this community’s children have lost their innocence forever. And every kid who hears about this has lost a part of his or her innocence as well. I want to snap freeze my daughter at this age and never expose her to cruel realities in the world. I want her biggest concern to be whether or not I remembered to give her her gorilla at nap time. I know I can't shelter her forever. I just want to.

 

I then reacted as a school psychologist. What would I have done if I were at that school that day? Would I have thrown myself in front of the shooter, as the brave school psychologist and principal did? I replay the scene in my head, happening in my school, and processing how to make it not happen. I replay it at my other school, with a different cast of characters, planning out how to prevent it. I then play it in my head from the little information I know about the campus at Sandy Hook. Each time, I think of how I could protect the children. I am sure the school psychologist acted on her instinct to protect. It’s what we do. I can only imagine if I would have done the same. No one knows such things for sure. 

My job as a school psychologist has exposed me to the dark underbelly of under-resourced schools and an overly-armed community. I have worked with kids who have murdered. I have worked with kids who I fear will murder someone without proper mental health services. I have called the police when there are kids with guns outside my school, only to have them say they’re too busy to come unless shots have been fired. I have found guns in backpacks of 11 year olds, because kids are afraid of walking to school. I have seen chronically traumatized kids come to school, numb to the near daily gunfire in their neighborhoods. I have seen mental health cut from our schools. I have been in districts where school psychologists, social workers, and counselors have impossibly high caseloads. I have lived through lockdowns at our schools, where gun violence on the streets threatens our safety in school. I have seen gun violence strike in all communities, including in my home state of Colorado.  And this week, I have seen the footage of parents in Connecticut burying their children and my heart breaks.

I also reacted as a sister and friend. My sister is a principal, and I have so many wonderful teacher friends. I know every one of them is a hero, and not just in times of extreme crises. The teachers at Sandy Hook showed us all what true heros teachers really are. It is humbling to know that in our society, our teachers literally would take a bullet for our kids. So can we stop bashing on them and blaming them for societal ills please? Can we take pause and reflect on how amazing these people are? Can we treat them with the respect they deserve, instead of demanding more and more from them and not giving them any resources with which to do more?

Finally, I am now reacting as a citizen. I feel pressed to do more. Do something. Anything. I know that “More mental health and less guns please” is a battle cry I’ve had in my heart for a long time. It’s simple, and I know it lacks the nuance and complexity of the issues, but it is from that basic premise I think we can make reasonable changes in our society.

I can only hope that the public rises up and asks our government to do more to protect our kids. Like President Obama said, “ Our first task is caring for our children. It’s our first job. If we don’t get that right, we don’t get anything right.”

From the Mouths of Babes...What is a School Psychologist?

Happy School Psychology Awareness Week! (SPAW! SPAW!)*

 

Our profession is a difficult one to explain. When I tell people I'm a school psychologist, I often get "Oh, you're a counselor!" Then, in order to avoid taking up that person's hour with all the roles of a school psychologist, I simply say, "Kind of! But more like if a counselor and a teacher had a baby. And that baby grew up and helped figure out what is getting in the way of learning for students and works with students, parents, and teachers to develop and implement a plan." And because this year's SPAW theme is knowing your strengths, I'm going to add that I help figure out what is getting in the way of learning and what is helping learning. And how zeitgeisty am I for picking my new school resolution to do a strengths survey? Toot toot! (my own horn).

In honor of this week (which I actually remembered this year!) I asked my lovely Facebook Page school psychologists what kids have said about what it is we do. Here's a sample of the responses.

I love.

• You're the lady that reads people's minds! 
•  The one who comes in and takes kids when they don't do their work.
• One of my kiddos I tutor told me that I was the person who "made sure she wasn't forgotten".
• School psychs "do plans to help kids." 
• One kid asked me if I could move things with my mind.
• "They 'testis' kids with the 'Wiscer' 4."
• I asked my 6 year old son: "They be nice to each other every night and they do nice kind things for kids and teachers. Ya know - that kinda stuff."
• Several third graders recently asked the learning specialist, "Who is that girl?" (referring to me). She said, "Oh, that is the school psych." and one kid said, "Oh, the person who digs up bones?" and then the other kid said, "The school psychopath? I didn't know our school had one of those!" She came to tell me this later - it totally made my day. Sometimes I feel like the school psychopath...
• I've had a preschool boy say "Hello, Officer" to me several times this week. It must have been the Teacher-I mean School Psych-Look I gave him when he was acting out during nap time a few days earlier.
• I had students obviously trying to discuss and decide who I was, then one asked, "You're a spy aren't you?!"
• One time I had a few kids refer to me as being with the FBI because I kept "snooping" around in their classroom taking notes and observing everyone
• The answer I get most often is "they help people." Yes, we do!
• Several times kids asked me if I owned the school.
• "Helps special needs kids and helps out teachers when they need a little help"-- says my savvy son!
• The "brain teacher".
• I have been called the "behavior police" and the "thumbs up lady"
• I've heard kiddos say that our school psychologist's job is: "to type on the computer all day" and "the school counselor's assistant"
•  I had a kid tell me last year I was, "The lady for when you're sad."

And my personal favorite:

• "The teacher that walks around the school!"

 So as you are walking around the school this week, feel proud of all the things you do--spy, help, dig up bones, type, teach about the brain, own the school, and give the Wiscer 4! Or keep it simple...as one of my kiddos said when I asked what a school psychologist does, "I don't know, but I think they love kids."

Indeed.

*Every year. I cannot help myself from cawing like a bird when I say it's "SPAW." 

Five!

Today is an important day. I'm certain it is on your calendar....

It's my FIVE YEAR BLOGIVERSARY!

What better way to celebrate than to post a picture of a meerkat wishing me a happy day? I think that's a meerkat, anyway.

Now is the time when I reflect on my writing craft or something, right? I'll just put it this way: I cannot believe that all y'all are still reading after five years, and that I've had something decent to say for half a decade. Not to be all toot! toot! (my own horn), but I'm pretty dang proud of myself. It sounds cliche, but I truly would not be still blogging if it weren't for all my fabulous readers and "likers" on the Facebook page for the blog. You all continue to inspire me and your comments and support are like blogger crack. Can't get enough.

I remember when I first started posting into the ether, I would be fearful of pushing the "publish" button, in case someone was going to be critical of my writing. I would write, rewrite, fact check, cite others, and rewrite again. I rarely wrote about anything controversial. I could relate to kids who didn't want their teachers to read their writing. Writing is the personal made public. Over the years, I've grown to be more true to my writing and put things out there even if they aren't safe, warm and fuzzy, or let's face it, not even remotely poignant.*

I think of the evolution of the blog over the past 5 year as similar to the evolution of group therapy--at first, it's about the content, and then its really more about the process. I try to balance a bit of both, giving you all some good content through research and resources while still remaining true to the hardest part of being a school psychologist--that despite having the knowledge, good intentions, and energy, there are times when the process wears you down. But like my baby-not-so-baby-anymore who is learning to walk could teach us all, when you fall flat on your face and are laying there like an injured pancake, you just gotta get back up and try again. Each fall is a learning moment. And I thank you for being with me during my career as I share with you both the successes and pancake-like falls in my journey in the profession of school psychology.

So in the spirit of keeping you all coming back for the next 5 years, I offer to you a Blogiversary gift of another give-a-way of my book, The School Psychologist's Survival Guide! Just comment here or on Facey Face about anything on your mind--meerkats, blogiversaries, lessons from the field, how long you've been reading the blog, thoughts on the blog's next five years, the writing process, or survival tips for your colleagues. It's a free-for-all, people. I just want to hear from you. :) I'll order your comments and use a random number generator to pick us another winner. Good luck!

And seriously, thanks so much for reading these past five years.


*There is still a part of me that fears my blog will jump the shark and I will be writing to crickets. Until you all drop off the Facebook Fan Page though, I'm just gonna keep going.

Tweeeeeet! We have a winner.

Hello my fellow tweety birds! I loved my first twitter contest (@studentsgrow) because I got to read why all y'all NEEEEEEEDED to win the School Psychologist Basket o' Survival. I wish I had a basket for everyone, you folks need it! Loved seeing what posts resonated with you all as well. My fav shout out was from Krista:

@MissCellaneousy:  One of my (related) favorite posts - Day in the Life of SP ... bc 6 minutes to wait for a hot pocket is just TOO long @studentsgrow

Yes, 6 minutes for lunch is terribly luxurious for our profession, dontchathink? ;) Well, one lucky reader will get the Basket o' Survival, which is equipped with high protein on-the-go snacks as well as my book,  "The School Psychologist's Survival Guide," which will help with time management to carve out time for lunch. Using the random number generator, the winner is.....

 

Kassandra Aristizabl @k_aristizabal

She recently tweeted she loved getting packages, so her wish has been fulfilled (as soon as I can wrangle a newly walking Baby B and get to the post office, of course)! Kassandra, private message me on Twitter with your address so I can get you your prize!

All non-Kassandras, don't cry. Mama will be doing another giveaway for my 5 Year Blogaversary in October. And fret not, twitter-phobes, you won't have to join to enter in this one. :)

You Want This Prize.

Ah, back to school....how are we all doing? Things are gettin' real, right? No more icebreakers and settling in, it's go time for school psychologists. You start having days at your school site where everything that could go wrong does and you run around putting out a hojillion fires and then you look at the clock, ready for lunch and its 3pm.

That is why all school psychologists neeeeeeeed a survival kit. Now is your chance to get one free! That's right, for just Free-99 you can win this Basket O' Survival!*

What do you get in your Basket O' Survival?

-An autographed copy of my book, The School Psychologist's Survival Guide!

-Pencils (seriously, where do they all go?)

-Crayons (classic)

-Peet's Coffee (it's the strongest in the world, I think)

-A bottle of Ibuprofin (you just need this on some days, am I right?) 

-Hand sanitizer (for those great moments when a kid waits until halfway through testing to say, "I think I have pink eye/lice/the flu/strep!")

-Margarita Mix  Sorry, inappropriate! You'll have to sponsor your own happy hour.

-A pack of trail mix for when it's 2:29 pm and you haven't had lunch yet and you have an IEP meeting in one minute. Easy to snarf down on the go for quick protein.

-Stickers and a reward chart (for the little friends who need a little extra sumthin' sumthin' to get through the Test of Auditory Perceptual Skills or the CTOPP).

You want this Basket, right?!? How do you get it? Enter my Twitter contest! Each of the following things will enter you into the contest, and then I will count them up and use my random number generator to pick the winner on September 15th, 2012:

1) Follow me on Twitter @studentsgrow and post why you neeeeeeed the School Psychologist's Survival Guide Basket. Be sure to tag me in the tweet at @studentsgrow. If you are already a follower, the just post n' tag.

2) Post a link of you favorite post from the history of the blog on twitter to your followers and tag me @studentsgrow.

Go forth and enter to win! Your very survival depends on it!

*Thanks to Musings of An Urban Psychologist for the fab idea to put my book in a basket of other survival goodies! 

The Teacher Look.

When you’re a school psychologist, you hear a lot of uncensored statements made by kids:

"Hey! Get away from me, I ain’t no #$%*ing special ed!” 

“You’re fatter this year, are you pregnant?” 

“Is that a big zit on your nose?”

Kids don’t always censor. It’s a fact. And each time they say something socially inappropriate or unintentionally mean, I use it as a teachable moment to build social skills. Or if a kid who lacks verbal skills to mediate conflict takes a swat at a kid during playtime, I see it as a chance to swoop in and teach them what to say next time instead of hitting. I think this inclination to turn transgressions into learning opportunities applies to parenting as well as an educating. It's kind of common sense, no? Apparently not.

Last week, a little boy took a swat at my Baby B in baby Spanish class when she had a toy he wanted. Oh no he di'nt! I looked expectantly at the mom to correct the behavior, and she did nothing. Nothing! Not a word in English OR Spanish. Grrrrr. It was all I had not to turn all Mama Oso right then and there.

Then this weekend, I was at the grocery store and Baby B and I kept running into this mom and her toddler in many aisles. Each time, Baby B waved at them, because that’s her new thing. She likes to do "the royal wave" to no one in particular, as if in a parade of her subjects. Anyhoo, after running into each other for like the 3^rdtime, the mom and I exchanged the perfunctory “Ha ha, fancy finding you in the cereal aisle too” smiles and the kid screams, “I don’t want to see that lady again! I don’t like her!” Wowza. Okay so whatevs, four year olds don’t censor and are very capable of saying stuff like that on a daily basis.* But the mom didn’t even take that opportunity to say anything. She just pretended like it didn’t happen and shuffled away, eyes downcast. Okay, fine. Teachable moment, gone. But you know, I’m off duty, so I didn’t say anything. Plus, I know it takes a village and all, but most parents don’t appreciate when you try to socialize their kid in the cereal aisle.** 

Then, later on I was walking in the neighborhood with Baby B and my neighbor’s elementary school aged kid and the dad were in their front yard so I did the "stop and chat," as you do:

Me: Hi there! [to kid] Looks like you have a book! What are you reading?

Kid: [without eye contact] I don’t want to show it to you.

Me: [cheerily] Okay then, perhaps another time!

Kid: [screaming in my face] I SAID I DON’T WANT TO SHOW IT TO YOU!!!

Dad:

I mean, come on! Can we at least say something here? I can only hope the dad addressed it later. I am not trying to be judgy, it is sometimes difficult to come up with parenting pearls of wisdom on the spot when your kid says something rude. But how about the classic, “That’s not polite.” Have that one in your back pocket, maybe.

Of course, as a school psychologist by trade, it is tempting to bust out the Second Step socialization curriculum on my neighbors or grocery patrons (I have it in the trunk of my car!), but I'm guessing it's not really my role to instil pro-social behavior in random children.  But in the schools, I definitely see my role as helping children and adolescents practice kind words and expressing themselves appropriately. My go-to statements when a kid says something a bit rude and I’m taken off guard are usually "That’s not polite” or "That's not kind" with a dash of the disapproving "Teacher Look."  I was, in fact, raised by a teacher, so I think I inherited a pretty good one.

It’s not always easy though on a day-to-day basis, especially walking through middle or high school hallways, as there are a thousand little decisions to be made about which rude comments to address and which to let go. I have fallen into the trap of trying to intervene and getting cursed at by a pack of middle school boys, which is no fun at all. I suppose my general rule is that if a comment is sexist, racist, or homophobic, I definitely say something, even at the risk of verbal retaliation. Run of the mill cursing? It depends on the age, context, and if I have a relationship with the kid or not. Usually a warning with my teacher look is enough.

Oh, and another piece of advice: Don't use google images with the search term "Teacher Look." There's some erm...interesting stuff there. I went with a picture of kid in shopping cart for this post because this is a PG-13 blog, people.
  

*You have to follow @preschoolgems on Twitter for a sample of things preschoolers say. Classic stuff. One of my recent favorites: "Babies are kind of pets." 


**By the way, I'm fully prepared to write a post at a later date when I detail how I inappropriately handle a situation with Toddler B in a grocery store. It happens to the best of parents.It is only a matter of time, really.

Handling School “Staff Infections” (Part I: The Over-sharer)

In the spirit of B2S, I want to give my fellow school psychologists a few tips for how to work with difficult adults in the school building. I think that when we first go into this field, we have a vision of working with kids all day long, in a cozy office, providing shelter from the storm of their troubles. And then, it turns out we don’t have an office, and if we do, it may be either Arctic tundra conditions or Bikram school psychology in there. Not cozy. Also, it turns out a lot of the work we do in school is consulting with the adults who interact with our students.

At any given school site, there is typically one teacher or support staff member that I find challenging to work with. Not everyone can be a teacher rockstar like my Internet BFF, Mrs. Mimi and the amazing Angela WatsonFormallyPowell. I really try not to be Negative Nancy on my blog, but there are a few archetypes of challenging adults that I’ve run across in the schools that make me wish I were in charge of hiring and firing with a regal flick of my wrist.

Remove her from my sight! *flick flick*

This one does not please me. Get rid of him. *dismissive wave*

This one amuses me. She can stay.

It’s weird though, as no one has granted me this power in the schools yet. So instead, I give you tips on how to manage staff members who give you, as I call it, a staff infection. One staff infection archetype is the no-boundaries staff member. They hear you are a psychologist, their eyes light up, and they talk with you as if you are their personal psychologist.

I remember in my first year on the job, there was this one parent liasion at one of my elementary schools who had always given me the heebyjeebies but I couldn’t put my finger on why. His name was Mister W. Fuzzy. Okay, obviously not, but I will call him that to protect his awfulness disguised as warm fuzziness. This guy dressed in African dashikis with a lot of beaded products adorning himself.  Mind you, he was not African American, let alone African. But since we are all technically from Africa, and perhaps he was trying to connect with the students’ roots, I’ll let that go. He referred to everyone as his brother or sister, which was a little cringe-worthy, to tell you the truth. He spoke with a soft voice and nodded with affirmations, in a Stuart Smalley kind of way. He always complimented every kid that came in his office in the third person: “Mister W. Fuzzy knows you didn’t mean to hit your friend.  Let’s walk on the Peace Path together and solve your problems. Now both of you give Mr. W. Fuzzy a squeeze.”  Sounds like a decent guy, right? Maybe a bit over the top for my taste, but different strokes for different folks, I guess. Oh, but then…

One day, I came in our support staff room after a meeting with a family and he asked how it went:

MWF: Hello Sista B! [cringe] How was Marcus’s meeting?

Me: It went well, we talked a lot about strategies for limiting his violent video game time since he does that all afternoon instead of homework.  

MWF: Well, video games can be addictive, and can breed an aggressive mindset. You become what you watch.

Me: *sipping coffee* Mmm hmm. Agreed.

MWF: Kind of like porn.

Me: *spitting out coffee*

MWF: I mean, I watch a lot of porn, and when I do, I can’t help but then transfer what I see in the porn onto my feelings about women…

Me: *looking around desperately for an escape route thinking: “Someone please make this stop. Ah! There’s a phone. Maybe I can pick it up á la Matrix and find me an exit!*  

MWF:  …I mean, after watching hours and hours and hours of porn, then I suddenly start looking at every young woman in real life and start thinking they’re a ho.

Me: Um. I have to…um…go away now. *backing sloooooowly away*

Can you believe that guy? From then on out, every time he looked at me, I couldn’t help but think he was turning me into a ho in his mind. Egads! I mean, who am I to judge someone’s private life, but I am here to judge sharing that private life with a young woman in an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Boundaries, people.

When I first started out, I didn’t know how to handle the no-boundaries staff member. I guess people hear you are a psychologist and think you want to hear all their intimate thoughts.* Or, for example, they ask you to make behavior plans for their cats. In one way, it’s a sign that they trust you, which I guess is good. For the run-of-the-mill over-sharers, I tend to handle it with a dash of humor.** I say things like, “Whoa, I’m a psychologist, not your psychologist” or “Sorry, my expertise ends at age 18, can’t help you!” However, if they are disclosing something very distressing or serious, then I definitely take the time to try and connect them with a mental health professional. Or if their problem is serious enough to impact the kiddos they work with, I will talk to a supervisor about the issue to get advice on what to do.

My last piece of advice? Don’t let the over-sharing go on unchecked like I did with Mister W. Fuzzy. Let’s just say that he thought my silence was a green light to continue over-sharing about his personal life. Yes, untreated, the over-sharer is a nasty school staff infection that will never go away…

*Happens on airplanes too. See my debut in the New YorkTimes on this topic. 

**Are you dying of not-surprise yet?

Well I Feel Sheepish.

A while back, I wrote a post about how a reader commented that my blog wasn't fun anymore. Truth be told, I had been feeling a little low about my blogging ability lately, especially since the amount of comments recently has been basically non-existent. And then, when there were no comments when I was offering a free copy of my School Psychologist's Survival Guide, I got suspicious. I went into my Blogger panel and lo and behold, there were 79 comments pending approval all the way back to APRIL. It turns out, when the people at Blogger changed their control panel or whatever its called, I didn't check a box to have unapproved comments sent to my email. Neat.

But you have been commenting after all! [Insert Sally Field's voice from 1984 Oscar Speech] You like me! You really like me! It turns out I'm just not that great at moderating comments on this newfangled world wide web. 

SO....

Gak! Those of you who commented with your b2s tips on the blog were actually not entered in the contest! I know, you were waiting with bated breath to see if you won. So to be fair, I put all y'all's info into a random number generator and came up with another winner!

Lauren Pegg, come on down. You're the next winner on the NFtSP Blog! Email me at studentsgrow@gmail.com to get your pressie!

As for everyone else, I am truly sheepish for not knowing that you have been commenting all year! I hope ewe will forgive me.* I promise now I will actually post and respond to comments now. It was "shear" luck I discovered my error.*

*I can't resist a good pun, my apologies. ;)

Together, We Could Probably Raise a Super Nerd.

I realize everyone is in major b2s (back to school) mode right now, but if I may, I have some nerdy news. First, the backstory:

I recently had the pleasure of meeting up with my Internet BFF, Mrs. Mimi of Its Not All Flowers and Sausages. If you don’t know about her yet, pop by her blog and def poke through the archives of her posts working as a teacher in NYC. And actually, to be more exact, when I say I “met up with her,” I basically invited myself to her vacay in southern Cal because I’m in NorCal and I figured the odds of me, hubby, and Baby B flying across the country to NYC again in the near future will be slim to none. Girlie doesn’t like to be contained like that. Nor do I.

Anyhoo, upon our arrival it took about 4.2 seconds for Mimi and me to begin exchanging nerdy compliments about each other’s babies.

Me: I love how Mini Mimi is pointing at objects to indicate interest, then socially referencing me through eye contact, thus demonstrating theory of mind!

Mimi: Look at how Baby B has concepts of print already, holding the text right side up.

My husband:

Her husband:

Yeah, the men folk didn’t get how amazing these tasks were. Humph!

So yesterday, I was reading a board book about shapes and colors to Baby B and she pointed to the hair bows of a girl holding a blue oval and then pointed to her own hair bows! She made her first text-to-self connection, people! I excitedly looked over at my parents, who happen to be in town for her 1^st birthday:

Me: OMG! Did you see that? Her first text-to-self connection!

Grandma:

Grandpa:

It was clear I needed a different audience to appreciate this milestone. I remember Mini Mimi’s first Text-to-Self connection, so I emailed Mrs. Mimi right away and got an email back congratulating me and asking if she also used her baby sign to say, "I like bows, mommy."* Ahhhh, someone who gets my nerdy love of developmental milestones. I bet we could have a nerd-off with the documentation in our kiddos’ baby books.

I promise, I’ll write about something that involves school psychology again one day. Just not when there is nerdy news to be shared. 

* We are still working on the baby sign. We've been signing "milk" every day since she was born, but she won't do it. But she does "gorilla" and "hat" which are also useful, if you happen to want to put a hat on a gorilla.

Back to School...Gak!

    

     I had my first B2S (Back to School) dream a few nights ago: I was trying to organize the files of the students with overdue assessments and I could only find 2 out of the 40 files I needed.* Last night, I had another: I dreamed the copier wasn’t working and I had an IEP meeting to get to and my report wasn’t copied. I suppose “dream” is the wrong word choice in this situation. Yes, it’s annual B2S anxiety nightmare season! I imagine my sub-c saying something like, “Guuuuuuurl…you better get yourself ready for the drama of a new school year.” So here we go. I am readying myself in the following ways, and invite those who are trying to get back in the spirit of B2S to join me:

1)    Go to Target. I know, it’s not very zen to put “obtain materialistic goods during B2S sales” as the top coping strategy, but I do actually find myself very zen and centered in Target. Perhaps it’s that mesmerizing bulls eye logo that does it. Only problem is, I go in for pencils and come out with a giant cart worth of stuff. That bulls eye hypnotizes me---I. Need. New. Curtains. And. Everything. I. See. I. Will. Obey. You. Swirly. Red. Friend.

 

This year, I plan to have self-control though. I will only purchase a few new play therapy toys (because if I play Uno one more time, I swear, I’ll lose it), one or two new school psychologist costumes (look out, Sister Wife 3, I’m jacking your style), and one zillion pens and pencils (of which one will remain in my possession by the end of the school year.) Oh, and maybe also some new curtains. The bulls eye doesn’t lie. I need them.

2)    Pick ONE New Tool to Use During the School Year to Improve Your Practice. After going to conferences, doing professional developments, or reading about new techniques and trends on Twitter and blogs, I get excited to implement them all in my daily work as a school p. But then, I have days like theseand it’s all I can do to not tear my hair out (not a good look) and get one little thing done. So this year, I plan to add only one new tool to improve my practice. This year’s winner? Integrating a strengths-based assessment tool into my testing battery. I am tired of my reports having 13 pages of what a kid can’t do and then at the end, a wimpy section that says something like, “Strengths include working well one-on-one!”

The winning assessment I am adding is also FREE. Can you believe it? It will need to be free once I accidently spend Baby B’s college fund at Target. The free assessment is the VIA Strength Survey for Children.It is based on the research that there are 24 “signature strengths” that can be tapped into to promote happiness. And let’s face it, our little friends struggling in school could use a little happiness infusion from time to time, by building their strengths, especially when there are horrible moments when a parent can't think of any strengths.  This FREE survey is a great little counseling tool as well, to have kiddos think of new ways to use their strengths. They have a survey for adults too if you want to take it just for funsies.**

3)    Read Some Kid or Young Adult Fiction. Now I haven’t read a book since “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” and “The Happiest Baby on the Block” (unless you count board books, where it is clear Baby B is is making text-to-text connections between her Boynton books). So this recommendation is exciting for me. Now you might want to get a Kindle for this rec, if you’re prone to being embarrassed for reading Captain Underpants or Twilight in public. Truth is though, most people have now read the Hunger Games and such, so go for it. I find that being up to date on the latest book helps me in counseling situations when kids are hesitant to talk about their problems, but they can relate to characters in books and talk freely. I once worked with a girl who refused to talk about her eating disorder, but she asked me to read “The Pretties,” which has themes about body image in it, and we were able to talk about the character’s feelings. Slowly but surely, we were able to talk directly about the girl’s feelings. Plus, some YA fiction is pretty good. I find that I enjoy how cognitively complex they are compared to Baby B’s board books. 

4)    Read My Book. What? You didn’t actually expect me to get through an entire post without shamelessly plugging The School Psychologist’s Survival Guide, now did you? Well, since I subject you to this all the time, how about this book is on me this time? Yea! A B2S Giveway!

To enter, you can a) make a comment on this blog or the Facey Face fan page with one thing you are doing to prepare for B2S or b) share this post on Facey or Twitter (be sure to tag Notes From the School Psychologist Blog or @studentsgrow so I know). I will put the names in a list and then use a random number generator to pick the winner. Good luck!

*I am not tech savvy at all, so I'm pretty dang proud of myself for making a meme. AND for knowing what a meme is. 
**My top strength is apparently “Forgiveness and Mercy.” Guess that’s why I am always returning each school year pretending I wasn’t a psychological punching bag all year long the prior year. My how summer vacay erases your memory...Even though my sub-c knows better.