Mindfulness. So Hot Right Now.

I am not a trendsetter. I am a reluctant, late adopter of newfangled technology, and I want to see the research before I try something with my students. True, in the tech realm, I have had a blog for over four years, which in blog life, is kind of long, but it's because my trendsetter friend, Jennifer, encouraged me to start it. I was late to join Facebook because I thought it was like MySpace, and thought MySpace was dumb and basically just for tweens and bands. My bestie, Kendra, encouraged me to join Facey Face and I can't believe I resisted so long. I even copied the trends of Mrs. Mimi of It's Not All Flowers and Sausages Blog by starting a Facebook page, twitter page, and Amazon.com links for my blog. If we weren't Internet BFFs, she might say, "Seriously. Stop copying me."



Now, I come to you with my latest reluctance that I know is supported by research, and is so hot right now, but I can't find myself jumping on board to use it: mindfulness. In essence, mindfulness is a practice in which we teach students (and adults for that matter) to be aware, present in the moment, and non-judgmental through a variety of techniques (e.g. deep breathing, meditation, visualization, etc.) I'm sure there's more to it, but like I said, I'm not that into it. I do know that research is emerging that mindfulness techniques have been shown to reduce stress and increase positive feelings. I am totally on board in theory, but when I try it myself, I am mindful of how lame it seems. I just don't feel happier or more centered listening to a Tibetan singing bowl's vibrations or really feeeeeeling what it's like to wash my hands (seriously, it was a "tip" at a conference to be really aware of the sensation of having soap trickle off your hands when you are washing them).



But I can't run from mindfulness practice anymore. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, after all. It infiltrates my life. For example, the last several professional developments in my school district have had mindfulness themes. We listened to drums, singing bowls, did deep breathing, and visualization exercises. I was only mindful of how friggin' hot it was in the room and started making my mental to-do list instead of feeeeeeling my brain waves align with the drums. You can't blame me for not trying. I tried Tae Kwon Do, which is all about eastern patience and such. I quit it though because it didn't move fast enough for me (what? after a month I just get a black mark on my white belt? I just kicked a board! Upgrade me to a yellow belt, at least!). I also tried yoga, and after 30 minutes of listening to the Aboriginal didgeridoo in child's pose, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and never returned. Next pose! Next pose! Let's keep it moving, people.



Sigh. Perhaps this is the very reason I need mindfulness meditation?



I shouldn't deny the children the benefit of mindfulness though, right? So last school year, I went out and bought a deck of mindfulness cards and plopped them on my desk for kids to choose from if they wanted to. One day, after getting kicked out of class for laughing hysterically for no reason, a middle school girl came to my office and took the mindfulness bait. Together, for 30 minutes, we went through several of the mindfulness cards together. She went from hysterical to calm and at the end of our session said, "I feel like myself again" and skipped off to class. She did fine the rest of the day. Now I realize this is a sample size of 1, but I may, just may dust those cards off for this year too. I may not be down with alternate nostril breathing and imagining my heart is a flower, but I can't deny that there's something to this mindfulness practice for some students.



Namaste.

Pulling Your Weight.

I have a confession, which long time readers will already know. I can’t stand icebreakers. It dates back to college when I joined a million clubs to bulk up my resume for graduate school* and every single group had the stupidest ice breakers (e.g. what is your favorite scab or scar?). Gross. But in education, we just love the ice breaker, so each year as I gear up for back to school meetings, I gear up for ice breakers.



I also do not care for the forced team-building activities, like untangling the human knot or doing a ropes course (or, for that matter, going to hippie education conferences with interpretive dance, labyrinths, and sacred objects**). Perhaps it says something deeper that I really don’t want to do a “trust fall” with people I just met? In any event, I think unstructured team building with the theme of “let’s eat this food and talk” is better.



A few years ago, I was asked to go on a team building 20-person kayak situation for one of my schools. The symbolism was so great, I couldn’t turn it down. I mean, 20 people working together for one goal? It could be a motivational poster. What would it look like if the school psychologist declined to be part of a synchronized, effective team of educators? Plus, it was better to be outside in nature than in a stuffy hot professional development room talking about writing rubrics.



It was a disaster for me, psychologically speaking.



We had our practice session in the morning, where we all got on indoor stationary kayaks. I can be competitive from time to time, so I was there, trying to go faster than everyone else, making the strongest whooshing sound and getting the most rotations per minute. The coach reminded me that the objective was to all row together. Fine. So I slowed down and we got in a rhythm, rowing together (symbolizing shared work load, common goals, and something else).



We finally made it out on the water. We were ready. Our multidisciplinary team of cohesiveness was ready to set sail on a new school year. (why isn’t there a sarcastic font? I’m going to invent that). Anyhoo, it started out pretty shaky, and the instructor started guiding us with her words (pull, bend, release, pull bend release) and 19 out of the 20 staff got it. The one who didn’t was right in front of me. No matter what the instructor said, she was totally off and she didn’t even realize it. I found myself getting super annoyed at her. I reminded myself about learning curves, and tried to focus on keeping time with the others. But she was distracting me with her inefficiency. I started to superimpose thoughts about her performance as an educator on to her performance as a rower. She doesn’t pull her weight! She's holding back the whole team! I know! It’s not cool, but I couldn’t help myself. I was thinking in metaphors all morning and I couldn’t stop.



Fast forward a few years. She was still struggling as an educator (I can't speak for her improvement in water sports). She seemed impervious to suggestions, coaching, modeling, peer support, anything. Her classroom was so chaotic, I had difficulties being in there for more than 5 minutes. Then, in her fourth year, things began to click for her. She turned a corner in her learning and seemed to get in her rhythm.



I have never been a teacher, so I can’t say what a normal learning curve is for getting in the rhythm. I just know that during this year’s ice breakin’ team buildin' time, my New School Year’s Resolution is to be more patient and understanding of those who are still navigating those bumpy first few years waves. I know if someone had put me under a microscope in the first few years of my practice as a school psychologist, they would have likely been annoyed at my incompetence. Thankfully, I stayed the course and rode the waves of my learning curves-—now I’m sailing away, with my course charted and…oh forget it. I’ve filled up my metaphor quota for the year.





* If you can get your hands on a PsiChi Psychology Honor’s Society recruitment video, circa 1998, you will see me with ugly hair and bad acting trying to promote membership.



**I had forgotten to bring a “sacred object” to this educational conference, so 2 minutes before the “ceremony,” I rummaged through my car and found my coffee mug. I looked shallow and weird as I described how important coffee was in my life as an educator, and the next girl brought an amethyst necklace that was given to her by her grandmother, a teacher for 45 zillion years or something.

Back to School Readiness—For Kindergarteners (and Educators!)

I recently posted on the NFtSP Facey Face page that I thought it was bit premature to see Back to School advertisements in July. To my horror, many people responded that their report back to work days were in early August. Yikes!



Perhaps because our district tortured the children into Bikram-hot learning through late June, we don’t report back for another few weeks. Mind you, August is often spent having my own internal "I’m-ready-I’m-so-not-ready-to-go-back" ping-pong battle in my mind. August is typically educator purgatory in that you are finally relaxed but there’s this nagging feeling it’s all coming to an end soon (insert collective tiny violin playing from people with jobs that only allow two weeks a year of vacay). I don’t need to tell educators that when you are instrumental in shaping the young minds of the future, you need the summer to recharge for that kind of societal pressure. I see your tiny violin, traditional workers, and I raise you a symphony of miniature violins that you aren't responsible for whether or not future generations can get along with each other and be educated, well-rounded lifetime learners.



Anyhoo…I digress. The real point of today's post is back-to-school readiness. Today, I was taking one of my daily walks with my lazy dogs and I ran into a neighbor who is sending her little one to Kindergarten this year. She was asking for advice about the transition, wondering if he was “ready.” So, I thought I’d whip up a little list for parents of activities and routines they can build into their schedules in August to prepare. If anyone else has suggestions for Kindergarten parents sending their little ones for the first time, feel free to add them in the comments section.



Tips for Transition to Kindergarten



1) Get into a “Kindergarten Routine” in the month leading up to Kindergarten entry. This means establishing a morning routine, an evening routine, and a bedtime routine.



2) Assess your morning routine: How similar is your current routine from the Kindergarten program your child will be entering? Are you already in a Pre-K program that is 5 days a week, from 8:00-2:30? Is your child entering a morning Kindergarten program and you have been going to afternoon Preschool? The more similar your routine is now, the easier the transition. If your child is unaccustomed to getting up and being ready by 8am, and their new Kindergarten starts at 8, start practicing being ready by that time now.



3) Evening routine: Even in Kindergarten, your child will begin to have homework if they are in a traditional program.* It is important to begin establishing a “Homework Time” in your evening routine, separate from the “bath-book-bed” routine. Since they will have homework the rest of their school careers, explore when works for your family (e.g. After dinner, before bath? After school before dinner?). During that time, you can play a game that involves sharing or turn-taking, or if you really want to, buy a Preschool workbook and do one page together. The game may be better than the worksheets though, because it reinforces social skills of losing gracefully, not cheating, taking turns, etc. They will get plenty of worksheets in their school careers.



4) Bedtime routine: Have a consistent bedtime, and think about how your child will probably not be having naps in a traditional Kindergarten. If you haven’t already, wean them off naps in the summer time (I know, it’s not fun, but it will help in the long run).



5) Self-Help Skills: There is no potty training in Kindergarten. Wiping is important. No one will wipe your child’s tush in Kindergarten. Also, teach your child how to zip, button, and tie/Velcro (added bonus, improving fine motor skills). Teach “practical life skills” like pouring, opening food containers and drink boxes, etc.



6) Anticipatory Guidance for you and your child: About a month before entry, read getting ready for Kindergarten books (e.g. Mrs. Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten, Kindergarten Rocks!, The Night before Kindergarten). Also, know that your child may “fall apart” at home for the first 2-3 months of Kindergarten, and this is typical, especially for kids unaccustomed to long days of instruction. They hold it together all day and then when they come home, they lose it. Acknowledge that you see how hard they are working to be a student all day.



7) Reinforce Reading Readiness: If your child went to a play-based preschool and didn’t get much exposure to pre-reading skills, don’t worry. Reading is supposed to be taught in early elementary. It’s harder to teach social skills and behavioral control skills to a kid who is reading than it is to teach reading to a kid with lagging social skills and behavioral control. Remember, kids have to be able to listen to the teacher and control impulses in order to profit from instruction!



You can reinforce reading skills at home by developing print awareness, playing simple phonetic awareness games, and practicing reading comprehension skills during story time:



• Point out environmental print (e.g. stop signs, names of businesses, menus)

• Point out that print occurs on different surfaces (paper, computer screens, billboards, books, iPads) and make a distinction between pictures and print.

• When you read, put your finger on each word you are reading, so they can make a connection that print corresponds to speech.

• Read nursery rhymes, sing songs, and clap along with the rhythm.

• Play games with words that sound alike as you experience them in everyday life (e.g. We’re passing Mike’s Bikes, that’s a funny name because they sound alike!)

• Demonstrate how sounds blend together in familiar words (e.g. Let’s sign your name on Grandma’s card, T-o-m --- Tom)

• Play a game where the goal is to find objects with names that begin with a certain initial sound. This is a great game for walks or car rides.

• Play clapping games and clap with each distinct sounds (e.g. “C-a-t is a three clap word; so is fam-i-ly”)

• Practice attention to stories by reading short stories, high interest books, and reading the same favorites over and over

• Connect stories and titles by predicting the story from the title. Ask your child to make predictions about stories and follow simple plots by asking questions while reading (“What’s going to happen now?”)

• Allow children to retell stories



One final note about readiness: As a school psychologist, I often console “criers” on the first day of Kindergarten. It’s about equal whether I am consoling a parent or a Kindergartner! Your child will take your cues too. If you are emotional and crying as they enter the class, they will tend to be emotional and turn into little barnacles you have to pry off your leg. Model calmness and a positive attitude! Also, don’t be surprised if they are fine the first day and then after a few days or weeks, they start to have difficulties. If I could interpret their tears on days 3 or 4, they would probably be, “OMG, I have to keep coming back every day???” They will get used to it. If the transition difficulties are ongoing, consult with your child’s teacher or the school psychologist.



Oh, and its worth noting for all you educators and school psychologists going back to work this month (or very soon!) that you may want to start weaning yourself off of naps and getting back in a regular schedule too! Here are some tips for educators making that transition back to work from the archives. Of these tips, I find B2S shopping to be the most therapeutic. ;)



*Kindergarten seems to be the new 1st grade, so it may be more academics than you anticipate. I think this is why there are kids rolling around on the rug during whole group lessons and kids start resisting pencil-paper work—they’re not always developmentally ready for it. The main skills I would hope they learn in Kinder are all social-emotional (e.g. following rules, playing well with others, working independently with supervision). But that’s a soap box speech for another time.

Lazy Dogs…and Children?

I don’t know why I continually find myself writing about my dogs over summer break. But it has been a while since I had to use my “children aren’t dogs” disclaimer, so I thought I’d dust it off for olde timey’s sake.*

Since I’m home now, being a lady of leisure, I have had the chance to observe my dogs closely. I used to feel badly about leaving them all day for work, but it turns out they actually just sleep all day. This morning, I thought I’d be a good puppy mama and take them on a walk, and I got out the leash for my greyhound, and he didn’t even get up off the couch. I called to him, and he closed his eyes, as if to say, “Please. I’m sleeping in.” This dog is LAZY. In fact, greyhounds are nicknamed “the 45 mile an hour couch potato” because they are really lazy animals. I guess they are storing up for the big sprint, but still, what dog doesn’t want to go on a walk? I used to be alarmed by his lethargy. I even took him to the vet once because I thought something was wrong with him (clinical depression? Thyroid problem?) , and after $300 of lab tests, the diagnosis? Greyhound. Awesome.

I only bring this up my lazy dog because a) he’s right next to me, being lazy, and I’m out of school so what else can I write about? And b) because it burns my soul when kids, parents, or teachers use the word “lazy” to describe a student. To me, the word lazy is used not as a transient state of being (see Bruno Mars’ “Lazy Song” for detail--Today I don't feel like doing anything), but it is often used as a personality or character trait in a student. It kills me when kids describe themselves as lazy in school, as it suggests the whole problem is a motivation or personality issue.

I was working with this teenager a while back who ended up having a pretty severe language-based learning disability that had gone undiagnosed until high school. During the social-emotional section of the testing, I asked him if he had one wish, what would it be. He said, “To not be lazy. I’m super lazy.” *soul burns* I ended up asking him, “Were you born lazy?”** and he laughed and said, “No.” I took it a step further. “When you were a toddler, did you sit around on the couch and not do anything?” He laughed again and said, “I don’t think so!” So I asked, “When did being lazy start for you?” He then really opened up and said that it started in 5th grade when school work got “really hard and they moved too fast.” He went on to explain he ended up not studying because he felt he couldn’t learn anyway.

I had my “aha moment” and so did he—it wasn’t that he was personally a lazy person, it was that he was struggling with his learning disability and didn’t have the tools or support to push through it, so he avoided studying. I sealed the deal: “So if you were a lazy person, would you have just spent the past 3 hours doing really hard tests with me and not giving up, so we can figure out how you learn best?” He said, “I guess not. Can I go now?” I will take that as a teenager version of a resounding, “you are right.”


*Dogs are not children, and children are not dogs. See Psychologist vs. Puppy for more information.

**I love this question. It can be adapted for all things. Were you born hating school? Were you born hating math? Were you born being angry at your parents? You can really start to pinpoint when attitudes and feelings about things started for students. I tip my hat to Ross Greene, of the Collaborative Problem Solving model for this one. It’s a gem.

Yes, I Still Have a Blog.

Friends,

I have been going down a shame-spiral for not posting lately! The weather is hotter, the kids are crazier, and yes, I am STILL working in the school district even though the official first day of summer was yesterday. I spent yesterday in a room that had a temperature roughly the same as the surface of the sun doing professional development.

The previous weeks were full of trying to tie therapy bows on all my counseling kiddos (FAIL) and finishing up assessments with kids who wanted to be there as much as I did. I also got a few crises thrown in the mix, because we just can't hold it together in June, can we? Sigh.

Soon, friends. Soon I will be able to start the summer recharging process...will this be the summer I actually meet my goal of learning how to reupholster vintage furniture? Will I write meaningful blog posts again? Will I finally learn how to post resources on my blog for people to download, like I've been wanting to for 4 years? Stay tuned...

One thing I can say I have been doing regularly (not posting, clearly) is keeping up with the Notes From the School Psychologist Faceyface Page. I am loving the dialogue and tips from people across the country. Also, loving the commiseration of folks who are making up snow days right now and feel my pain. Come join the awesomeness.

I should also note that I am on twitter too, and if you follow me, I promise you I don't tweet what I had for breakfast and stuff. Mostly I re-tweet interesting articles every week or so. And yes, articles on the Onion count as articles.

Pay Attention.

Lately, I find myself giving the same speech. It takes me a while to get the language right in explaining difficult concepts about child development, so when I do, I like to make it count and use my new speech whenever possible (apologies to people who attend meetings with me on a regular basis and get to hear me say the same thing). Anyhoo, I think my latest speech/analogy is a fairly decent one, so I will share it with you.

At my school sites, I have been getting a lot of requests for assessment for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) that sound a little like this: “So and so is inattentive and hyper. Does she have ADHD?” It’s a legitimate question, but it is not an easy answer. As in previous posts, like the one where I went to a Circus School to assess a student for ADHD (true story), ADHD is a complex assessment. Especially if you yourself are distracted by trapeze artists during your “school observation.” But I digress.

My new speech/analogy is:

“Attention is the ‘fatigue’ of the psychology field.”

Here is what I mean by that. I want you to imagine you have fatigue and you go to your doctor and say, “Doc, I have fatigue. Do I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?” The doctor (if they are any good, of course) would have to investigate all the potential causes for fatigue before concluding anything. Offhand, (and I’m not that kind of doctor), I can think of about a hojillion reasons for fatigue besides Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: the flu, cancer, pregnancy, working in a school district, depression, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, anemia, seizure disorders, poor sleep…..and it goes on and on. “Fatigue” is a non-specific symptom.

The same is true for attention. Offhand, the “causes” of inattention can be: (um, all medical conditions above), ADHD, difficulties focusing because of a learning disability, anxiety, depression, low IQ, high IQ, autism, social-emotional distraction, situational factors, psychosis…..and it goes on and on. So, when people ask me if I will “test for ADHD”, they are really asking me to test for everything else as well. I enjoy ADHD evaluations. I feel like a detective looking for clues and hitting a bunch of dead ends until I get to the bottom of the inattention symptoms.

That is why it burns my soul just a little bit when I get reports from outside professionals who give one rating scale to the parent, and if it is elevated in attention problems, they get the diagnosis. They don’t interview the teachers, they don’t observe the kid at school, and they don’t rule out the other causes of ADHD-like symptoms. Really, it gives “my people” a bad name to do an incomplete evaluation like that.

Second pet peeve about ADHD evaluations is when a doctor then “prescribes” an IEP or Section 504 plan based on their results, without seeing if the inattention is really having an educational impact that requires special education or accommodations. I have had students with ADHD on the honor roll, earning all As and Bs, and the outside professional recommends an IEP. I always wonder what service they think the kid needs. Then I have a fantasy of calling them up and telling them what psychopharmacological medications to prescribe. Because you know, if they’re going to tell me what to do in my school without knowing what their talking about, surely I can pretend I’m a medical professional and tell them what to do. It’s only fair.

I realize that doctors and outside professionals are only trying to help. But I think that school psychologists are the ones best equipped to assess for ADHD (given they have had training and aren’t super old school psychs who should have retired during the Clinton administration or sooner). In some districts, school psychs are not allowed to assess for ADHD, and in some they are. In some, they do screenings and send the information to a doctor. In my private practice as a clinical psychologist, I do ADHD evaluations all the time. In my role as a school psychologist, it has gone back and forth about whether or not I am allowed to do them, even though I have the training. I feel bad for parents, whose doctor says to go to the school for an evaluation and the school says to go to the doctor. It’s confusing, and then the kids with legitimate issues get bounced between professionals.

I am curious how other school psychologists and districts handle referrals for ADHD. I find that it varies from district to district, school to school, and even by school psychologist comfort level in assessing for ADHD. I would be curious from other school psychologists what your district policy is on how ADHD evaluations are handled in your district. Discuss amongst yourselves...and feel free to try on the fatigue analogy at your next meeting!

Emotes.

Anyone who has been a therapist or counseling with kiddos for a while will appreciate this post. I don't know about y'all, but there are some things in my play therapy kit that I kind of want to throw away because every kid seems to want to play it and I'm so over it (Uno and Connect Four, I'm looking at YOU guys!). I often need play therapy toy "crop rotations" to mix it up. Of course, sand tray is always a classic that never leaves, but sometimes I throw a new dinosaur in there to see if it morphs into the principal or a bully at school. It's a good time.

There are some kids though who don't play with anything in the room or get bored easily with the materials you have. I had such a kiddo a while back. He was a kindergarten kiddo who was referred because of impulsivity and aggression in the classroom. He spent most sessions complaining about my toys and asking why he had to be there. At the same time, I had his middle school equivalent in my office a few hours later. Only instead of aggression in the classroom, he also showed aggression in the community. And would you believe I found a series of toys and activities they BOTH liked???

I think sometimes that boys present an extra challenge when it comes to helping them express the range of feelings they have. They tend to endorse "anger" pretty easily and the other stuff takes a long time to get to. That is, unless you have this fabulous tool called "Emotes".*



I was at a convention and was drawn to these little guys who each represented a different feeling, positive, negative and nuanced. For example, "Boom" is the angry one, "Joi" is the happy one, and "Can't" is the frustrated one. I bought the starter kit and the introduction book to try them out. My boys LOVED them. My kinder poppet wanted to read the story every time, and he loved finding the ones that matched his feelings (he gravitated toward Imp-the mischievous, Boom-the Angry, and Super-the confident). He started drawing them in class spontaneously and would do almost anything for a sticker of one of his guys. He even referenced them in reflecting on his own behavior (e.g. Dr. B, I was like "Hype" today in class and got in trouble) Como se dice AWESOME?

My middle schooler, who was notoriously "too cool for school" ignored their pointy little faces for about 2 weeks, and then finally gave in. He started playing with them and wanted to draw them and go on the website and find coloring pages or more stories about them. I did not see that coming! It gave us a way to talk about the feelings that underlie anger without him feeling like I'm a cliche "How does that make you feeeeeeeel?" counselor. Genius.

So after testing them out on my two toughest customers, I contacted the Emotes peeps and asked for them to send me more goodies so I could start integrating these little guys into the Kinder and 1st grade classes as class-wide feeling vocabulary lessons. Okay fine, I guess I am a "How does that make you feeeeeeeel?" kind of gal after all. I just think this is a more fun way to go about it. Plus, they have the books in Spanish. Holla.

Check out their stuff when you get a chance at www.emotes.com. Oh, and if you're looking at it at work, turn the sound down because it starts off with a jaunty little song and a loud exclamation, "How are you feeling today!" It made me feel like "Jumpi" the first time. But the kids love the website because they have comics and whatnot. Enjoy!


*Note: Not related to the term "Emo". When the term "Emo" first started percolating a few years back in the lexicon of my yoots, it took me a while to figure out what they were referring to. At first, I thought a group of students was calling a girl "Elmo" from Sesame Street, and I couldn't work out what it was about, until I asked. It's very different than Elmo, trust me. When I say Emotes, I also over-enunciate the "-tes" part of the word EmoTES to make sure I am clear. Emo has a bad connotation for kids.