Well people, March 15th, the deadline for possible layoffs in the schools has come and gone, and I did not get a letter that I am on the potential pink slip list. I can officially stop stalking my poor mailman. Its a bittersweet moment, because while now I don't have to look for another job and re-title my blog, "Notes from the Former School Psychologist Who Got Stabbed in The Back By the People She Gave 10 Years of Her Life To," there are many of my colleagues who did get the dreaded letter and may not be returning. Some of the best psychologists are our new people, and the policy "last hired, first fired" is causing our department and some of my schools to potentially lose some of the best people.
In my moment of crisis when I wrote this post about the Ides of March drama, I received many wonderful emails from people lending me their support. One such teacher, Nancy, of The Teacher Geek Blog wrote me an email that brought me to tears. She also shared a link to an article she recently wrote about how to deal with being laid off from a school district, and I found it really helpful. So here it is for my colleagues and blog friends who are sadly in this position: Surviving Unemployment:Purgatory.
If anyone else has any tips for our colleagues in limbo with a potential layoff notice, feel free to post them here. The best thing written to me, that I can share is Nancy's quote: "Working in a large urban district, you have already shown that you have amazing resilience. That same resilience will will get you through this."
Holla, Nancy.
Showing posts with label Cold Prickly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cold Prickly. Show all posts
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
Saturday, 5 March 2011
Beware the Ides of March...
I wrote this post in my head at about 4am this Saturday morning, when I awoke with anxiety about next school year. The past few weeks, every teacher’s lounge and every staff meeting has been doom-and-gloom about the state of our school district’s education budget being slashed. Symbolically, every March 15th, in budget shortfall years, staff get “you might be laid off” letters. This year, we may lose some school psychologists for the first time in my 9 years in the profession. It’s bad, people.
I may even be laid off due to an administrative rule that puts me in the same category as a first year employee, despite 9 years of experience. I switched districts and I worked part time some of my years, so basically none of my years count in seniority. Awesome. The way layoffs go down in a school district is not by performance, evaluations, or any other reasonable criteria, but by “last hired, first fired” or in my case, “let go because you worked part time a few years.” Some of the most talented teachers I know are in their first or second years in the profession, and they are the first to be cut.
So friends, I sincerely hope that I don’t have to change the name of my blog from “Notes from the School Psychologist Blog” to “Notes from the Former School Psychologist Who Now Works in the Private Sector with no Health Insurance but Still Believes in Public Education and Can’t Work There With Kids Who Need it Blog.” Not as catchy.
Even if I am spared my job, the budget picture is bleak. My school principals have had to cut most support staff. That means that my placement at my middle school would be only four hours a week and my placement at my elementary school would also be a whopping four hours. Goodbye counseling services, goodbye teacher and parent consultation, parent support groups, counseling groups, prevention activities, and all the things I love. Hello testing one kid, writing a report, going to a meeting and leaving. I will be sad to tell my students I see in counseling that I can no longer see them. Sorry about your abandonment issues, poppits.
My schools have also had to cut all supply budgets. No copier repair funds, no supplies. What enrages me is that I bet Goldman Sachs has never spent a day without a functioning copier or pens and pencils. I bet the Bank of America CEO and his cronies have never had to share one pen with three other people in a cramped janitor’s closet. Why can we bail out the foolios who got us in the recession and turn our backs on the students and teachers? Oh, and how much are we spending in Afghanistan again? Ah that’s right 6.7 billion per month. Do you know what California schools could do with just one month of the war budget? I rarely get all political on this blog, but I see how our kids and school staff will be suffering at no fault of their own, and I have a deep sense of sadness and anger.
I wish I could put a more positive spin on this post. All I can do is to encourage anyone who lives in a city where there will be a special election about funding for schools, please, please, I beg you to get your family and friends to vote for a small increase in tax to keep public schools functioning. I just hope our neighbors aren't penny-wise and pound-foolish. Investment in smaller class sizes, mental health professionals, quality teachers, and supplies to learn prevents school failure and the high cost of special education, not to mention the societal cost of drop out.
As for the Ides of March, I will be stalking the mailman on the 15th to see if I have been stabbed in the back 23 times by the Congress, just like Julius Caesar. Stay tuned...
I may even be laid off due to an administrative rule that puts me in the same category as a first year employee, despite 9 years of experience. I switched districts and I worked part time some of my years, so basically none of my years count in seniority. Awesome. The way layoffs go down in a school district is not by performance, evaluations, or any other reasonable criteria, but by “last hired, first fired” or in my case, “let go because you worked part time a few years.” Some of the most talented teachers I know are in their first or second years in the profession, and they are the first to be cut.
So friends, I sincerely hope that I don’t have to change the name of my blog from “Notes from the School Psychologist Blog” to “Notes from the Former School Psychologist Who Now Works in the Private Sector with no Health Insurance but Still Believes in Public Education and Can’t Work There With Kids Who Need it Blog.” Not as catchy.
Even if I am spared my job, the budget picture is bleak. My school principals have had to cut most support staff. That means that my placement at my middle school would be only four hours a week and my placement at my elementary school would also be a whopping four hours. Goodbye counseling services, goodbye teacher and parent consultation, parent support groups, counseling groups, prevention activities, and all the things I love. Hello testing one kid, writing a report, going to a meeting and leaving. I will be sad to tell my students I see in counseling that I can no longer see them. Sorry about your abandonment issues, poppits.
My schools have also had to cut all supply budgets. No copier repair funds, no supplies. What enrages me is that I bet Goldman Sachs has never spent a day without a functioning copier or pens and pencils. I bet the Bank of America CEO and his cronies have never had to share one pen with three other people in a cramped janitor’s closet. Why can we bail out the foolios who got us in the recession and turn our backs on the students and teachers? Oh, and how much are we spending in Afghanistan again? Ah that’s right 6.7 billion per month. Do you know what California schools could do with just one month of the war budget? I rarely get all political on this blog, but I see how our kids and school staff will be suffering at no fault of their own, and I have a deep sense of sadness and anger.
I wish I could put a more positive spin on this post. All I can do is to encourage anyone who lives in a city where there will be a special election about funding for schools, please, please, I beg you to get your family and friends to vote for a small increase in tax to keep public schools functioning. I just hope our neighbors aren't penny-wise and pound-foolish. Investment in smaller class sizes, mental health professionals, quality teachers, and supplies to learn prevents school failure and the high cost of special education, not to mention the societal cost of drop out.
As for the Ides of March, I will be stalking the mailman on the 15th to see if I have been stabbed in the back 23 times by the Congress, just like Julius Caesar. Stay tuned...
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Saliva. I Did Not See that Coming.
For those of you who aren’t aware, the National Association of School Psychologist’s conference is in San Francisco this week. Seeing as how it’s in my hometown this year, I couldn't not go, right? I usually pick all conferences by venue. I missed last year's NASP conference because it was someplace cold. No thanks.
So this year, I was very excited to see old friends, learn new things, and do it all from the comfort of my hometown. The first day of the conference, it was a bit of a sensory overload, but fun. The second day of the conference, I was in the groove, and I had my nerdy little NASP bookbag filled with 8 squillian pens I had hoarded from the exhibit hall freebies, ready to learn. That morning, I hopped on our local train, BART, and thumbed through the 80 lb list of sessions and planned my day. I’ve been in the Bay Area about 10 years now, so I am a regular BART-user, and I craftily picked the last car because I knew there would be a seat. I win.
I approached my station and as I exited, I heard someone scream, “Bitch!” and heard a spitting sound right behind me. I exited the train, turned around, the doors closed, and this belligerent man was roaming the back car, yelling and spitting. I foolishly then touched the back of my head, and my hand was wet with spit. I had been spit on. My crime was walking near a crazy person. Horrified, I went to the nearest police officer to report the harassment.
Me: Officer? Um, yes, I’ve just been yelled at and spit on by a belligerent passenger on the Daly City train headed southbound.
Officer: (Smirking) Well, ma’am, have you ever ridden BART before?
Me: I have been riding BART for 10 years and that’s irrelevant. Passengers should not be spit on and cursed at.
Officer: (Condescendingly) Well, sometimes, when you see a crazy person, you should just move away from them.
Me: Are you kidding me? I was exiting the train, never even saw this person, and I was spit on from behind! And how is this my fault for not being able to prevent a crazy person from targeting me for no reason? And he's getting away! He's probably at Civic Center right now, harassing other people! (At this point, I burst into tears)
Officer: (Using calm, soothy voice now, smirkiness gone). Ma’am, I will call it in.
Me: (sniffling) Thanks…it’s…sniff…just….that….I…don’t…sniff…want someone else to be…sniff…victimized.
Good times, right? I wanted to go home and disinfect my hair. I wasn’t even really crying because the guy spit on me. He probably had some sort of thought disorder in the schizophrenic family of diagnoses. Yes, I do 4 second DSM-IV diagnoses. As my friend who joined me shortly after the incident said, “Let’s CBT this. At least it wasn’t in your face?”* What was really upsetting was the officer’s response. He basically inferred that it was common, so it wasn’t a problem and then that it was my fault for not being psychic and avoiding the person.
After attending sessions all day, conveniently on anti-bullying, I got to thinking about my one incident of victimization, and about how we respond to kids who report repeated victimization and bullying. I work with them all the time. Teachers and parents want the kid to toughen up. I empathize, problem-solve with them, and teach assertiveness. I always work with the bully too.
I think inadvertently, we can re-victimize kids who are bullied. The officer’s “It’s common” argument sounds a lot like the “Kids can be cruel, you have to develop a thick skin” argument I hear in the schools. The officer’s comment, “Well, you should just move away from crazy people” is a variant of “Did you try ignoring him or avoiding him?” Both arguments put the burden of change on the victim. I have first hand experience with the “just ignore him!” argument backfiring on me big-time (See the My Words Taste Yucky incident of 2008.)
We could all be more thoughtful when we process bullying incidents with kids. I have found that bullying is a very complex issue, and we often jump to “easy” solutions like asking the victim to be less sensitive or avoid the bully. I can’t remember who said the quote, but I remember it: “For every complex problem, there is a quick, easy, and simple solution that is wrong.” We get it wrong when we only work with the victim on their role in the interaction, and not with the bully and even the bully bystanders.
As I attend conference presentations this week on bullying interventions, social skills promotion, and prevention of violence, I hope I do pick up some more insights on how to help. And I hope I don’t have to do it with any more spit in my hair. *gags*
*Cognitive behavioral therapy: change your thoughts, change your feelings. I needed that. My thought “I have some sort of disease in my hair” was not making me feel better. “At least it wasn’t in my face” did make me feel better.
So this year, I was very excited to see old friends, learn new things, and do it all from the comfort of my hometown. The first day of the conference, it was a bit of a sensory overload, but fun. The second day of the conference, I was in the groove, and I had my nerdy little NASP bookbag filled with 8 squillian pens I had hoarded from the exhibit hall freebies, ready to learn. That morning, I hopped on our local train, BART, and thumbed through the 80 lb list of sessions and planned my day. I’ve been in the Bay Area about 10 years now, so I am a regular BART-user, and I craftily picked the last car because I knew there would be a seat. I win.
I approached my station and as I exited, I heard someone scream, “Bitch!” and heard a spitting sound right behind me. I exited the train, turned around, the doors closed, and this belligerent man was roaming the back car, yelling and spitting. I foolishly then touched the back of my head, and my hand was wet with spit. I had been spit on. My crime was walking near a crazy person. Horrified, I went to the nearest police officer to report the harassment.
Me: Officer? Um, yes, I’ve just been yelled at and spit on by a belligerent passenger on the Daly City train headed southbound.
Officer: (Smirking) Well, ma’am, have you ever ridden BART before?
Me: I have been riding BART for 10 years and that’s irrelevant. Passengers should not be spit on and cursed at.
Officer: (Condescendingly) Well, sometimes, when you see a crazy person, you should just move away from them.
Me: Are you kidding me? I was exiting the train, never even saw this person, and I was spit on from behind! And how is this my fault for not being able to prevent a crazy person from targeting me for no reason? And he's getting away! He's probably at Civic Center right now, harassing other people! (At this point, I burst into tears)
Officer: (Using calm, soothy voice now, smirkiness gone). Ma’am, I will call it in.
Me: (sniffling) Thanks…it’s…sniff…just….that….I…don’t…sniff…want someone else to be…sniff…victimized.
Good times, right? I wanted to go home and disinfect my hair. I wasn’t even really crying because the guy spit on me. He probably had some sort of thought disorder in the schizophrenic family of diagnoses. Yes, I do 4 second DSM-IV diagnoses. As my friend who joined me shortly after the incident said, “Let’s CBT this. At least it wasn’t in your face?”* What was really upsetting was the officer’s response. He basically inferred that it was common, so it wasn’t a problem and then that it was my fault for not being psychic and avoiding the person.
After attending sessions all day, conveniently on anti-bullying, I got to thinking about my one incident of victimization, and about how we respond to kids who report repeated victimization and bullying. I work with them all the time. Teachers and parents want the kid to toughen up. I empathize, problem-solve with them, and teach assertiveness. I always work with the bully too.
I think inadvertently, we can re-victimize kids who are bullied. The officer’s “It’s common” argument sounds a lot like the “Kids can be cruel, you have to develop a thick skin” argument I hear in the schools. The officer’s comment, “Well, you should just move away from crazy people” is a variant of “Did you try ignoring him or avoiding him?” Both arguments put the burden of change on the victim. I have first hand experience with the “just ignore him!” argument backfiring on me big-time (See the My Words Taste Yucky incident of 2008.)
We could all be more thoughtful when we process bullying incidents with kids. I have found that bullying is a very complex issue, and we often jump to “easy” solutions like asking the victim to be less sensitive or avoid the bully. I can’t remember who said the quote, but I remember it: “For every complex problem, there is a quick, easy, and simple solution that is wrong.” We get it wrong when we only work with the victim on their role in the interaction, and not with the bully and even the bully bystanders.
As I attend conference presentations this week on bullying interventions, social skills promotion, and prevention of violence, I hope I do pick up some more insights on how to help. And I hope I don’t have to do it with any more spit in my hair. *gags*
*Cognitive behavioral therapy: change your thoughts, change your feelings. I needed that. My thought “I have some sort of disease in my hair” was not making me feel better. “At least it wasn’t in my face” did make me feel better.
Saturday, 13 November 2010
School Psychology Awareness Week:Wednesdaythursdayfriday
How appropriate that in School Psychology Awareness Week (SPAW!) I didn’t have any time to write anything until Saturday afternoon. Indeed, it was a long Wednesdaythursdayfriday this week. Being a school psychologist is kind of like taking a tour of Europe in 5 days. As in, if its Tuesday, this must be my elementary school, and if its Wednesday, I must be in my middle school. Many times, it is all Wednesdaythursdayfriday to me though. If I didn’t have my iPhone I would die of executive functioning overload trying to get everywhere I’m supposed to be.
ANYHOO, since Wednesdaythursdayfriday was all one day, here are the high and low-lights:
Cold Pricklies
-One of my little poppits lost her English Language Development support intervention because the gal who was working with her got held up at gunpoint outside of the school and (not surprisingly) has not ever come back. I don’t blame her if she never does.
-Everyone is getting sick. The kids, the teachers, the parents. Sick. Sick. Sick. And now I’m really channeling Emma from Glee with my giant antibacterial hand sanitizer and obsessive hand washing. I cannot get sick. I have too much to do. So I pop Vitamin-C and never share a pen with anyone. It’s not very collegial, but I don’t care. I know my pens are safe. Perhaps I can install an apparatus in my office doorway like they have at the airport security where it puffs air on your whole body, only it would be puffing Lysol? I am full of great ideas this week (see Nose Scarf idea from Tuesday).
-Speaking of climate control…I have 3 reports I had to finish this week. I finished one and a half and have to write the rest on my weekend. One problem was that I could see my breath as I typed the reports in my office and I couldn’t focus. I did think to bring mittens, but they are very slippery to type with. I feel another invention coming on (or a trip to Target for a space heater).
-One of my older yoots I’ve been counseling for 2 years got expelled from school for possessing and selling drugs on campus. We have been talking for two years about ways to avoid turning into his father, brother, and uncle and every cousin in gangs. He is a talented musician and we were working so hard on planning a life outside of crime and gangs. It’s so insidious and rage making to me how hard it is to break the cycle.
Warm Fuzzies
-One of my “frequent flyers” to the principal’s office last year hasn’t been all year! He got recognized at our support staff meeting. His reason for improving? “Well, you know how sometimes kids just mature? That’s me.” I die.
- People actually attended my evening presentation on bullying. On a GLEE night, mind you. That’s dedication. I wove the relational aggression in Glee into the talk, to ease the pain of missing it. Thank goodness for TiVo. Loved loved loved Glee on Tuesday. I aspire to dress like the counselor, Emma. I also aspire to only have one school and a plush office with awesome brochures like hers.
-PTA bought one of my schools lunch on a day I had failed to bring my lunch and was frantically wondering all morning how far I’d have to drive to get a lunch not at a liquor store because nothing else is near my school. Had a hot meal at school for the first time in ages.
-One of my most…erm….dramatic poppits is really losing it this semester. I’m on year three of counseling with her. She is always focused and kind during session, and then she lets loose in the big world. The other day, she was kicked out of her class and she came to me and asked if she could “do mindfulness”. We did almost 30 minutes of deep breathing and visualization and at the end, she said, “Okay, I can go back to class, I feel like normal me again.” And after reflecting on my week, full of ups and downs, I hold on to these small victories and warm fuzzy moments with students to feel like normal school psychologist me again for next week’s adventures.
ANYHOO, since Wednesdaythursdayfriday was all one day, here are the high and low-lights:
Cold Pricklies
-One of my little poppits lost her English Language Development support intervention because the gal who was working with her got held up at gunpoint outside of the school and (not surprisingly) has not ever come back. I don’t blame her if she never does.
-Everyone is getting sick. The kids, the teachers, the parents. Sick. Sick. Sick. And now I’m really channeling Emma from Glee with my giant antibacterial hand sanitizer and obsessive hand washing. I cannot get sick. I have too much to do. So I pop Vitamin-C and never share a pen with anyone. It’s not very collegial, but I don’t care. I know my pens are safe. Perhaps I can install an apparatus in my office doorway like they have at the airport security where it puffs air on your whole body, only it would be puffing Lysol? I am full of great ideas this week (see Nose Scarf idea from Tuesday).
-Speaking of climate control…I have 3 reports I had to finish this week. I finished one and a half and have to write the rest on my weekend. One problem was that I could see my breath as I typed the reports in my office and I couldn’t focus. I did think to bring mittens, but they are very slippery to type with. I feel another invention coming on (or a trip to Target for a space heater).
-One of my older yoots I’ve been counseling for 2 years got expelled from school for possessing and selling drugs on campus. We have been talking for two years about ways to avoid turning into his father, brother, and uncle and every cousin in gangs. He is a talented musician and we were working so hard on planning a life outside of crime and gangs. It’s so insidious and rage making to me how hard it is to break the cycle.
Warm Fuzzies
-One of my “frequent flyers” to the principal’s office last year hasn’t been all year! He got recognized at our support staff meeting. His reason for improving? “Well, you know how sometimes kids just mature? That’s me.” I die.
- People actually attended my evening presentation on bullying. On a GLEE night, mind you. That’s dedication. I wove the relational aggression in Glee into the talk, to ease the pain of missing it. Thank goodness for TiVo. Loved loved loved Glee on Tuesday. I aspire to dress like the counselor, Emma. I also aspire to only have one school and a plush office with awesome brochures like hers.
-PTA bought one of my schools lunch on a day I had failed to bring my lunch and was frantically wondering all morning how far I’d have to drive to get a lunch not at a liquor store because nothing else is near my school. Had a hot meal at school for the first time in ages.
-One of my most…erm….dramatic poppits is really losing it this semester. I’m on year three of counseling with her. She is always focused and kind during session, and then she lets loose in the big world. The other day, she was kicked out of her class and she came to me and asked if she could “do mindfulness”. We did almost 30 minutes of deep breathing and visualization and at the end, she said, “Okay, I can go back to class, I feel like normal me again.” And after reflecting on my week, full of ups and downs, I hold on to these small victories and warm fuzzy moments with students to feel like normal school psychologist me again for next week’s adventures.
Monday, 5 April 2010
I Got Served Again...This Time by the Courts.
Friends, last week (or was it month?) I wrote about getting "served" by math, and it must be Serve-a-Pol-ooza month. You see, this week, I am on my spring break. The last day before the break I had an extra jaunt in my step because I knew I had a week of rest coming up.* I skipped over to my mailbox, which is usually filled with several day old notes about emergencies I can no longer address, and it was empty! YES! This was going to be a great day. Then the secretary said, "Tengo algo para ti" (I have instructed her I am in a self-inflicted immersion program and not to talk to me in English). But that's not the point. I turned on my heels slowly and gingerly took the envelope as if it possibly had anthrax in it. When I get paperwork, it's never, "Great job with that meeting!" or "We don't need anything else from you!"
It was a subpoena.
For those of you just joining NFTSP, I am a school psychologist working in the public schools and in private practice. They are two totally different worlds and I love both of them for different reasons. One thing I have learned as a school psychologist in the public schools is that part of our job is actually to be a paralegal. Turns out the world of special education and therapy is highly litigious. I hate to crush all the eager li'l peeps who email me about how excited they are to be a school psych, but you're going to get the whole picture here. I spent the first few years of my job at "professional development meetings" thinly disguised as "How to Not Get Our District Sued." It's just what happens when you are in a large, urban district. We waste millions of dollars on defending ourself from not having enough money to serve the kids properly. I will tell you about the time my pen cost the district $100,000, but that's another day. I never hold the pen anymore at meetings for that reason. ANYHOO.
The subpoena says to turn over all psychological records for a student within 5 days. The thing is dated 9 days ago. It is a student I have never worked with before and have no records on. NEEEEEEEAAAAT. So I look for my principal. She is at a funeral of a former student who got killed in a drive-by. SUUUUPER. I scan my "professional development" bank of knowledge for what to do, and a little bubble pops up over my head with my old boss saying "Never call the lawyer, call the legal department." I don't know where that number is. I stupidly call the lawyer. I tell him that I don't think I'm the "custodian of records" but I will look into it. He says I should be the custodian of psychological records. I tell him I need a raise if that is the case. Then, I hang up and try to continue my day, totally distracted. I see my principal--she hasn't left yet. After we talk about the horror of the other situation, she tells me legal is already looking into the subpoenas, and "The District"** is actually the custodian of records and we may not have to go to court.
Sigh of relief.
Then I start thinking about my own records of students I see in counseling and how sometimes they are slopped together in the 2 seconds between students. I was trained to take diligent notes about each session for this reason. Though my notes are technically privileged information, I am thinking they are probably in some cases also part of the school record if I see the kid at school and I'm a district employee. Guess I should have been paying more attention in those sessions rather than thinking about silly things like trying to help the kids.
SPRING BREAK 2010 WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Never you mind that I am writing this post at 7:30am on my first day of break. Stupid internal body clock.
**Probably close relative of "The Man."
It was a subpoena.
For those of you just joining NFTSP, I am a school psychologist working in the public schools and in private practice. They are two totally different worlds and I love both of them for different reasons. One thing I have learned as a school psychologist in the public schools is that part of our job is actually to be a paralegal. Turns out the world of special education and therapy is highly litigious. I hate to crush all the eager li'l peeps who email me about how excited they are to be a school psych, but you're going to get the whole picture here. I spent the first few years of my job at "professional development meetings" thinly disguised as "How to Not Get Our District Sued." It's just what happens when you are in a large, urban district. We waste millions of dollars on defending ourself from not having enough money to serve the kids properly. I will tell you about the time my pen cost the district $100,000, but that's another day. I never hold the pen anymore at meetings for that reason. ANYHOO.
The subpoena says to turn over all psychological records for a student within 5 days. The thing is dated 9 days ago. It is a student I have never worked with before and have no records on. NEEEEEEEAAAAT. So I look for my principal. She is at a funeral of a former student who got killed in a drive-by. SUUUUPER. I scan my "professional development" bank of knowledge for what to do, and a little bubble pops up over my head with my old boss saying "Never call the lawyer, call the legal department." I don't know where that number is. I stupidly call the lawyer. I tell him that I don't think I'm the "custodian of records" but I will look into it. He says I should be the custodian of psychological records. I tell him I need a raise if that is the case. Then, I hang up and try to continue my day, totally distracted. I see my principal--she hasn't left yet. After we talk about the horror of the other situation, she tells me legal is already looking into the subpoenas, and "The District"** is actually the custodian of records and we may not have to go to court.
Sigh of relief.
Then I start thinking about my own records of students I see in counseling and how sometimes they are slopped together in the 2 seconds between students. I was trained to take diligent notes about each session for this reason. Though my notes are technically privileged information, I am thinking they are probably in some cases also part of the school record if I see the kid at school and I'm a district employee. Guess I should have been paying more attention in those sessions rather than thinking about silly things like trying to help the kids.
SPRING BREAK 2010 WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Never you mind that I am writing this post at 7:30am on my first day of break. Stupid internal body clock.
**Probably close relative of "The Man."
Friday, 5 June 2009
Guest Writer: Debbie Downer
You ever have one of those days when you find out a 14-year-old former student murdered another student? Erm. Me neither.
But if I did, it would be awful. And there would be guilt about not doing enough. And there would be scanning of all interactions to see if there was something else I could have done to prevent it. There would be major cognitive dissonance. He was a nice kid. He had potential. He got sucked into a gang. He didn’t have the skills to think through what would happen if he actually shot another kid. I know that most people file “gang member” under “evil misfit” in their minds and move on with their lives, but it’s far more complex. He was a sweet kid. He was vulnerable to influence. He didn’t have many successes in school and was looking for a way to feel connected and powerful. I think there are two victims. One is gone at the age of 13 and one is in jail for the rest of his life.
There is a “spidering” of retaliation that is happening amongst my students, their older siblings, and their families. Some of my students say they admire the shooter. Some of my students are in danger. I feel powerless. I know I try to keep things light here at Notes From the School Psychologist, filling the blogospere with warm fuzzies, but I don’t want to sugar-coat how hard it is to be the person people go to when these things happen and ask, “what do we do?”
I was okay with my crisis intervention role when I got the call that I needed to go to the nearby middle school because of a shooting. It certainly wasn’t the first time my crisis team number had been called to do grief counseling. And I put on my objective psychologist hat* and grabbed my kit of crayons, paper, empathy, and crisis management skills.
In my team of other school psychologists, I saw all the kids coming in to mourn the 6th grader who was killed. They said things like, “He was really funny” and “He never came to class, but when he did, he made me laugh.” He was clearly in a gang. The kids said, “It’s so dumb he died for a color.” I processed the confusion, sadness, and anger with his friends, and sat with a girl who cried and clutched the kid’s beanie hat, as a last reminder of her friend. She wasn’t going to the funeral because she was afraid of retaliation. Then she said the shooter’s name. And my heart sank. It was one of MY kids. I knew him last year before he transferred out of my school. No longer an anonymous gang member, I was no longer that effective in my objective psychologist role. I managed to pull it together and see more kids that day, but I told my supervisor I didn’t feel like I would be effective in that role for the following day. I mean, how can anyone have empathy for a killer and grief counsel the victim’s friends at the same time?
A week has passed. No media coverage at all of the tragedy, except one blip on the 10 o’ Clock news the day after. Looks like the media has also filed it away under “evil gang members we can’t do anything about.” I wonder if this had happened in a fancy part of San Francisco, if Time Magazine would be all over it, opening a discussion about youth violence. It angers me.
Interestingly, I had JUST gone to a seminar on Student Threat Assessment, and we spent two days talking about how rare these events are, but how it’s our job to take every threat seriously. We can’t predict who will be a killer, but we can take steps following every threat. This kid never made a threat that I could have followed up on. But I knew he was vulnerable and interested in gangs. I wish I could have done more.
Debbie Downer would like to conclude with a sad fact that you can’t save everyone in this field. You do your best, and sometimes, the outside influences are stronger than you. You can clean the air inside your school, make it nurturing, follow up with kids who need help, and do your best. Sometimes it seems like the front door of your school is a screen door, and all the negative community influences just come right in and there’s nothing you can do. Except your best.
(Insert Debbie Downer noise here)
*It’s not actually a hat, but if it were, it would be like a Sherlock Holmes hat, I think, to symbolize the objective taking in of data/clues. See, humor is my defense mechanism from trauma. You probably noticed that already.
But if I did, it would be awful. And there would be guilt about not doing enough. And there would be scanning of all interactions to see if there was something else I could have done to prevent it. There would be major cognitive dissonance. He was a nice kid. He had potential. He got sucked into a gang. He didn’t have the skills to think through what would happen if he actually shot another kid. I know that most people file “gang member” under “evil misfit” in their minds and move on with their lives, but it’s far more complex. He was a sweet kid. He was vulnerable to influence. He didn’t have many successes in school and was looking for a way to feel connected and powerful. I think there are two victims. One is gone at the age of 13 and one is in jail for the rest of his life.
There is a “spidering” of retaliation that is happening amongst my students, their older siblings, and their families. Some of my students say they admire the shooter. Some of my students are in danger. I feel powerless. I know I try to keep things light here at Notes From the School Psychologist, filling the blogospere with warm fuzzies, but I don’t want to sugar-coat how hard it is to be the person people go to when these things happen and ask, “what do we do?”
I was okay with my crisis intervention role when I got the call that I needed to go to the nearby middle school because of a shooting. It certainly wasn’t the first time my crisis team number had been called to do grief counseling. And I put on my objective psychologist hat* and grabbed my kit of crayons, paper, empathy, and crisis management skills.
In my team of other school psychologists, I saw all the kids coming in to mourn the 6th grader who was killed. They said things like, “He was really funny” and “He never came to class, but when he did, he made me laugh.” He was clearly in a gang. The kids said, “It’s so dumb he died for a color.” I processed the confusion, sadness, and anger with his friends, and sat with a girl who cried and clutched the kid’s beanie hat, as a last reminder of her friend. She wasn’t going to the funeral because she was afraid of retaliation. Then she said the shooter’s name. And my heart sank. It was one of MY kids. I knew him last year before he transferred out of my school. No longer an anonymous gang member, I was no longer that effective in my objective psychologist role. I managed to pull it together and see more kids that day, but I told my supervisor I didn’t feel like I would be effective in that role for the following day. I mean, how can anyone have empathy for a killer and grief counsel the victim’s friends at the same time?
A week has passed. No media coverage at all of the tragedy, except one blip on the 10 o’ Clock news the day after. Looks like the media has also filed it away under “evil gang members we can’t do anything about.” I wonder if this had happened in a fancy part of San Francisco, if Time Magazine would be all over it, opening a discussion about youth violence. It angers me.
Interestingly, I had JUST gone to a seminar on Student Threat Assessment, and we spent two days talking about how rare these events are, but how it’s our job to take every threat seriously. We can’t predict who will be a killer, but we can take steps following every threat. This kid never made a threat that I could have followed up on. But I knew he was vulnerable and interested in gangs. I wish I could have done more.
Debbie Downer would like to conclude with a sad fact that you can’t save everyone in this field. You do your best, and sometimes, the outside influences are stronger than you. You can clean the air inside your school, make it nurturing, follow up with kids who need help, and do your best. Sometimes it seems like the front door of your school is a screen door, and all the negative community influences just come right in and there’s nothing you can do. Except your best.
(Insert Debbie Downer noise here)
*It’s not actually a hat, but if it were, it would be like a Sherlock Holmes hat, I think, to symbolize the objective taking in of data/clues. See, humor is my defense mechanism from trauma. You probably noticed that already.
Thursday, 11 December 2008
Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!
You know what is lacking in urban schools sometimes? Happy people. Now I recently discovered that happiness is contagious and I would really like some people at work to get infected with a serious case.
I entered one of my schools to find that someone had gotten all festive on me and put up holiday lights, a Christmas tree (I know, I know, separation of church and state), and even a whole family of moving-light-up-reindeer. The reindeer were all awkwardly grazing on fluffy white "snow" made of quilting batting that had some extra sparkle in it for good measure. There was a sweet little tree with fake packages under it and everything. Despite the clear Christmas bias over other holidays, I thought that it was nice for someone to try to spruce (get it?) up the foyer for the holidays, and I commented on it to a co-worker.
Me: Wow! This place is all festive!
CW: Festive. At this school? Ha. (Snorts)
Me: Um, I was referring not to the school in general, but to all the lights and the cute animatronic rein…
CW: (Walks away before I can finish)
Me: (to self, quietly) Reindeer.
Sheesh! There’s only a week left until break! ‘Tis the season? No? Okay fine, I’ll go hang out with happy people then. Please excuse me while I look for the reindeer lover and thank him or her for making me happy today.
I entered one of my schools to find that someone had gotten all festive on me and put up holiday lights, a Christmas tree (I know, I know, separation of church and state), and even a whole family of moving-light-up-reindeer. The reindeer were all awkwardly grazing on fluffy white "snow" made of quilting batting that had some extra sparkle in it for good measure. There was a sweet little tree with fake packages under it and everything. Despite the clear Christmas bias over other holidays, I thought that it was nice for someone to try to spruce (get it?) up the foyer for the holidays, and I commented on it to a co-worker.
Me: Wow! This place is all festive!
CW: Festive. At this school? Ha. (Snorts)
Me: Um, I was referring not to the school in general, but to all the lights and the cute animatronic rein…
CW: (Walks away before I can finish)
Me: (to self, quietly) Reindeer.
Sheesh! There’s only a week left until break! ‘Tis the season? No? Okay fine, I’ll go hang out with happy people then. Please excuse me while I look for the reindeer lover and thank him or her for making me happy today.
Sunday, 7 December 2008
Obama on Climate Control
My fiancé and I have a tradition of watching Meet The Press every Sunday to catch up on the state of our nation.* It is mandatory that I have at least one cup of coffee in hand prior to activating the TiVo. The TiVo is necessary for when we want to pause to jump in on the commentary, because we take our MTP very seriously and do not want to miss anything. We do fast forward through haters and Negative Neds/Nancys, through lately I like to hear what they have to say, so I can throw pillow and whatnot at the tele. It really jump-starts my Sunday.
Today, Obama was on, and I told fiancé that he better at least say one thing about Education to give me some hope.** After 55 minutes of his plans to save the world economy, fix our global climate crisis, and end all wars, (all perfectly reasonable goals), I nearly spilled my coffee when he also said he would make it a priority to rebuild our schools. Now this wasn’t metaphorical rebuilding, but actual rebuilding the schools to be more energy efficient, etc. On the heels of a discussion on Ms. Mimi’s blog about the ludicrous “The heat is either on or off” policy of most urban schools, I was delighted.
Presently, my school has opted for the “The heat is off” policy, which in December is not the best choice, even in California. Northern California is not the California of the sunny post card, by the way. Then again, some of my colleagues in snowy areas are in short sleeve shirts, sweltering in December, so I’m not sure which is worse. I will tell you that I feel like I’m lying to kids when I say that my office is a space where they can come to relax when it feels not unlike the arctic tundra. “Yes, it a degree back here, but doesn’t it make you feel warm inside to talk to me? No? Okay.”
Now, I am a problem-solver. I got a space heater the other day and was so excited that I was going to be able to feel my fingers as I typed, but alas, I was foiled again by 1940s building plans, because there is no electrical outlet in my office. The nearest outlet is at least an extension cord or two away. The good news is, no one will be able to sneak up on me in my office, what with my new trip-wire in place.
Fourty-four days and counting…c’mon Obama, don’t let us down.
*Oh how we miss Tim Russert. In case anyone was wondering, we approve of David Gregory as a replacement. I realize no one was wondering. I just wanted to put it out there.
**Hope. So hot right now.
Today, Obama was on, and I told fiancé that he better at least say one thing about Education to give me some hope.** After 55 minutes of his plans to save the world economy, fix our global climate crisis, and end all wars, (all perfectly reasonable goals), I nearly spilled my coffee when he also said he would make it a priority to rebuild our schools. Now this wasn’t metaphorical rebuilding, but actual rebuilding the schools to be more energy efficient, etc. On the heels of a discussion on Ms. Mimi’s blog about the ludicrous “The heat is either on or off” policy of most urban schools, I was delighted.
Presently, my school has opted for the “The heat is off” policy, which in December is not the best choice, even in California. Northern California is not the California of the sunny post card, by the way. Then again, some of my colleagues in snowy areas are in short sleeve shirts, sweltering in December, so I’m not sure which is worse. I will tell you that I feel like I’m lying to kids when I say that my office is a space where they can come to relax when it feels not unlike the arctic tundra. “Yes, it a degree back here, but doesn’t it make you feel warm inside to talk to me? No? Okay.”
Now, I am a problem-solver. I got a space heater the other day and was so excited that I was going to be able to feel my fingers as I typed, but alas, I was foiled again by 1940s building plans, because there is no electrical outlet in my office. The nearest outlet is at least an extension cord or two away. The good news is, no one will be able to sneak up on me in my office, what with my new trip-wire in place.
Fourty-four days and counting…c’mon Obama, don’t let us down.
*Oh how we miss Tim Russert. In case anyone was wondering, we approve of David Gregory as a replacement. I realize no one was wondering. I just wanted to put it out there.
**Hope. So hot right now.
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